Hi Elle, this is an intriguing response! I certainly agree that sex is healthy and natural, probably sacred too (Song of Solomon) but struggle with that concept of polyamorousity as strengthening intimacy between people. Relationships are not built on sex but on deepening trust between people, the best sex you will ever have is with someone you can be naked with in every way. “Multi-loving” (I read about it Cosmopolitan the one and only time I read an issue) means lots of sex it seems to me and less intimacy; it seems to objectify people for your personal pleasure, making sex a form of recreation rather than a sacred bond between people, reserved for that person you want to share your deepest self with. You end up with bits of yourself spread out among all those other souls. We seem to be living in a culture that has more sex than ever before but less intimacy and relationship satisfaction.
To illustrate this point, I have a dear friend who came from a different culture to marry her first husband who she met whilst travelling the monasteries of the Himalayas. After they married he proposed it was to be an “open marriage” where they could “enjoy” other people as he believed “traditional” marriage, i.e. monogamy was repressive. After children and 10 years he left for one of those “other” people and she brought up the children alone. Last count it was three further partners since then.
However, the books look interesting and I shall put them on my very long reading list :-)